The thing above love is that is starts with you... Singleness was never a choice for me. I desperately wanted a partnership. I still remember praying every night that someone would come into my life. He sent me lessons instead...
"I was a woman so from birth my designated role was motherhood...For the first time I have realised that I do not have to have children if I do not want to... having a choice should not be a f***ing privilege"
My second truth is that I did not have my first orgasm till I was 26 years of age...the shame attached to any relationship with my genitalia was huge...I carried this shame into my relationships
So for this new season; I look forward to having a heart that is more open to love, that is no longer terrified at the thought of a relationship, a heart that looks forward to meeting someone who aligns with them on all levels, that is continually learning and growing, a heart which knows it might make mistakes, but knows that it is always willing to check itself and a heart that will always do its best. There is nothing more that I could ask of myself this season, or the next.
Catch me reflecting It has been approximately one year since I started my journey of healing. I expected to enter a new vibration, I knew there would be a glow up - though it fucked me off when people would use that line as though to reassure me because it was super invalidating for what [...]
"Living for yourself; fully and wholeheartedly, is a lifelong process. It is a choice you have to actively make every single day"
The reality is, that instead of choosing myself like I thought I was, my choosing of myself was dependent on having a man (in whatever context) that was choosing me too. Knowing me, knowing my little obsessive, overthinking, dramatic, Pisces self, I thought that if I had a man on the side meeting my sexual and intimacy needs, well, only THEN could I go out and bless the world with all other aspects of me
I have 206 entires in my Notes app under the folder labelled "blog". They are quick jottings over the course of two years when I first shot the bullet and started blogging - an external, physical space to pour the multitudes of thoughts and musings - imperative for an over-thinker like myself. A few have [...]
There's no getting over heartbreak, there's no shoving it deep down and leaving it to fester. The reality is you just have to get through it; there's no easy way, there's no good or bad, wrong or right. I think the honest truth is that; however you heal, it's going to be what is right [...]
Does anyone tell you about the pit in your stomach? I've got one. I'm not sure who I'm supposed to talk to about it. It won't go away. Maybe it's not quite in my stomach, but it feels like it's somewhere between there and my heart, it's lodged right up underneath my rib cage and [...]