So for this new season; I look forward to having a heart that is more open to love, that is no longer terrified at the thought of a relationship, a heart that looks forward to meeting someone who aligns with them on all levels, that is continually learning and growing, a heart which knows it might make mistakes, but knows that it is always willing to check itself and a heart that will always do its best. There is nothing more that I could ask of myself this season, or the next.
Author: brittanytasesa
27 | Samoan, Cook Island, Lebanese et al. | God-believer | doctor (psychiatric registrar)| pacific health advocate | still identity searching
A Year of Reflections
Catch me reflecting It has been approximately one year since I started my journey of healing. I expected to enter a new vibration, I knew there would be a glow up - though it fucked me off when people would use that line as though to reassure me because it was super invalidating for what [...]
Working Out How to Live For Myself – Part Two
"Living for yourself; fully and wholeheartedly, is a lifelong process. It is a choice you have to actively make every single day"
Working Out How to Live For Myself – Part One
The reality is, that instead of choosing myself like I thought I was, my choosing of myself was dependent on having a man (in whatever context) that was choosing me too. Knowing me, knowing my little obsessive, overthinking, dramatic, Pisces self, I thought that if I had a man on the side meeting my sexual and intimacy needs, well, only THEN could I go out and bless the world with all other aspects of me
New Things – A Letter to Myself
I have 206 entires in my Notes app under the folder labelled "blog". They are quick jottings over the course of two years when I first shot the bullet and started blogging - an external, physical space to pour the multitudes of thoughts and musings - imperative for an over-thinker like myself. A few have [...]
Working Through Heartbreak
There's no getting over heartbreak, there's no shoving it deep down and leaving it to fester. The reality is you just have to get through it; there's no easy way, there's no good or bad, wrong or right. I think the honest truth is that; however you heal, it's going to be what is right [...]
The Bad Parts of Heartbreak
Does anyone tell you about the pit in your stomach? I've got one. I'm not sure who I'm supposed to talk to about it. It won't go away. Maybe it's not quite in my stomach, but it feels like it's somewhere between there and my heart, it's lodged right up underneath my rib cage and [...]
Pandemics, lockdowns, breakdowns and break-ups
Kia ora, It's been a while. Almost pre-March 2020 lockdown in New Zealand to be somewhat exact It's been a rough road for many and continues to be a difficult time. It's a time to encourage grace and kindness for not only others, but ourselves too - are you not sleeping properly? Are you worrying [...]
My Not Pregnancy – Part 10
Confirmed miscarriage at 12+6 weeks I'd just started getting excited about my pregnancy I'd literally told my grandparents and friends two days before this day. The ED doctor said that the current foetal size was about 8 weeks. Pretty much just after my first scan. Is that when baby died? Just after I'd seen it's [...]
My Not Pregnancy – Part 9
I've been bleeding for four days now It was starting to taper off after the second day and then I may have indulged in some activities that equivalate to what landed me in this unplanned position in the first place. So the next day it was a bit heavier and brighter, but after some more [...]
