“To expect being in love 24/7 is a myth. If you tell me otherwise then I’ll take that as the exception to the rule and maintain a discerning suspiciousness of your perception of your relationship.”
The thing above love is that is starts with you... Singleness was never a choice for me. I desperately wanted a partnership. I still remember praying every night that someone would come into my life. He sent me lessons instead...
"I was a woman so from birth my designated role was motherhood...For the first time I have realised that I do not have to have children if I do not want to... having a choice should not be a f***ing privilege"
My second truth is that I did not have my first orgasm till I was 26 years of age...the shame attached to any relationship with my genitalia was huge...I carried this shame into my relationships
So for this new season; I look forward to having a heart that is more open to love, that is no longer terrified at the thought of a relationship, a heart that looks forward to meeting someone who aligns with them on all levels, that is continually learning and growing, a heart which knows it might make mistakes, but knows that it is always willing to check itself and a heart that will always do its best. There is nothing more that I could ask of myself this season, or the next.
Catch me reflecting It has been approximately one year since I started my journey of healing. I expected to enter a new vibration, I knew there would be a glow up - though it fucked me off when people would use that line as though to reassure me because it was super invalidating for what [...]
"Living for yourself; fully and wholeheartedly, is a lifelong process. It is a choice you have to actively make every single day"
The reality is, that instead of choosing myself like I thought I was, my choosing of myself was dependent on having a man (in whatever context) that was choosing me too. Knowing me, knowing my little obsessive, overthinking, dramatic, Pisces self, I thought that if I had a man on the side meeting my sexual and intimacy needs, well, only THEN could I go out and bless the world with all other aspects of me
I have 206 entires in my Notes app under the folder labelled "blog". They are quick jottings over the course of two years when I first shot the bullet and started blogging - an external, physical space to pour the multitudes of thoughts and musings - imperative for an over-thinker like myself. A few have [...]
There's no getting over heartbreak, there's no shoving it deep down and leaving it to fester. The reality is you just have to get through it; there's no easy way, there's no good or bad, wrong or right. I think the honest truth is that; however you heal, it's going to be what is right [...]