Does anyone tell you about the pit in your stomach? I've got one. I'm not sure who I'm supposed to talk to about it. It won't go away. Maybe it's not quite in my stomach, but it feels like it's somewhere between there and my heart, it's lodged right up underneath my rib cage and [...]
Blog
Pandemics, lockdowns, breakdowns and break-ups
Kia ora, It's been a while. Almost pre-March 2020 lockdown in New Zealand to be somewhat exact It's been a rough road for many and continues to be a difficult time. It's a time to encourage grace and kindness for not only others, but ourselves too - are you not sleeping properly? Are you worrying [...]
My Not Pregnancy – Part 10
Confirmed miscarriage at 12+6 weeks I'd just started getting excited about my pregnancy I'd literally told my grandparents and friends two days before this day. The ED doctor said that the current foetal size was about 8 weeks. Pretty much just after my first scan. Is that when baby died? Just after I'd seen it's [...]
My Not Pregnancy – Part 9
I've been bleeding for four days now It was starting to taper off after the second day and then I may have indulged in some activities that equivalate to what landed me in this unplanned position in the first place. So the next day it was a bit heavier and brighter, but after some more [...]
My Not Pregnancy – Part 8
Crap. We are here. This is the week; the milestone; 12 weeks. I spent the previous weekend in Wellington (New Zealand) for a friends wedding. As all my family are based in Wellington and my closest friends were going to be at this wedding, it was the perfect opportunity to let them know - this [...]
My Not Pregnancy – Part 7
Back to the real world and here we are on night shifts. It's week 11 and the nausea has been getting better, surely I can get my act together and start eating healthy now. As you might have noticed I've been living off pies, sausage rolls and juice so I really haven't been getting my [...]
Lockdown Reflections
During the COVID-19 alert level 4 and 3 lockdown I have felt feelings of purposelessness and a lack of fulfilment I learnt how to manage my emotions by myself, and also how, sometimes, unable I am to manage them by myself too I came to realise who I can trust and how many people I [...]
My Not Pregnancy – Part 6
I'm Samoa this week for a family reunion. I definitely don't have my summer-bod up to date. I like to blame the life growing inside my belly, but unfortunately that life is only 10 weeks and the size of a kumquat as per parents.com so probably can't be to blame for all the abdominal softness [...]
My Not Pregnancy – Part 5
Disclaimer – I briefly reference abortion in this. I am both pro-life and pro-choice. I would never condone anyone for the choice they make when they find out they are pregnant. Each person is in completely different situations and I think people need to be compassionate and empathetic about other people's circumstances whilst simultaneously minding their own business. I am currently trying to come to terms with loss. Not physical loss - [...]
My Not Pregnancy – Part 4
I had a scan this week. Just to confirm a viable pregnancy and all those things. Apparently my baby should be the size of a raspberry right now, but judging by my stomach it's surely the size of a melon...maybe that's just the pies and sausage rolls talking. It took a ridiculous amount of time [...]