pregnancy – Brittany Tasesa

For if you don’t want to have children.

May 4, 2022March 28, 2023by brittanytasesaLeave a Comment

"I was a woman so from birth my designated role was motherhood...For the first time I have realised that I do not have to have children if I do not want to... having a choice should not be a f***ing privilege"

heartbreak, miscarriage, My not pregnancy

My Not Pregnancy – Part 8

June 12, 2020March 28, 2023by brittanytasesaLeave a Comment

My biggest hurdle during this time has been telling my Samoan grandfather. The history I have to compare it with is his reaction when my mum told him she was pregnant at the age of 21 and he proceeded to not speak with her for the entirety of the pregnancy.

heartbreak, miscarriage, My not pregnancy

My Not Pregnancy – Part 7

June 8, 2020March 28, 2023by brittanytasesaLeave a Comment

I think I've started experiencing baby brain. I've been doing some research and there's no specific time when it starts and it's questionable whether it's a real thing, but I'm pretty sure I've got it.

heartbreak, miscarriage, My not pregnancy

My Not Pregnancy – Part 6

May 13, 2020March 28, 2023by brittanytasesaLeave a Comment

I've spent the entire time feeling exhausted, and it's not just heat and the presence of my raging, party-animal family. By 11 I'm already done for the day and it's nap time - oh did I mention that was AM?

heartbreak, miscarriage, My not pregnancy

My Not Pregnancy – Part 5

May 7, 2020March 28, 2023by brittanytasesaLeave a Comment

I am currently trying to come to terms with loss. Not physical loss - loss of opportunities.

heartbreak, miscarriage, My not pregnancy

My Not Pregnancy – Part 4

May 3, 2020March 28, 2023by brittanytasesaLeave a Comment

It took a ridiculous amount of time to find a place to get my scan, which is surprising considering I am a health professional. I honestly imagined that you just rocked up to the radiology department at the hospital, patted your stomach as the universal sign of cooking a bun in the oven and they whip you through - free of charge. But no, and it's not just because of my own sheer incompetence +/- a pinch of ignorance but because it turns out when you get pregnant, you literally have do everything yourself.

heartbreak, miscarriage, My not pregnancy

My Not Pregnancy – Part 3

April 23, 2020March 28, 2023by brittanytasesa1 Comment

When I found out I was pregnant my first thought was “crap”. Honestly, truly... I am absolutely terrified...I'm not ready

heartbreak, miscarriage, My not pregnancy

My Not Pregnancy – Part 2

April 16, 2020March 28, 2023by brittanytasesaLeave a Comment

I didn’t actually click that it was nausea; initially describing it to my mum as starving, but when it was time to eat, I couldn't stomach looking at any of the food. Sounds kind of like nausea right?

heartbreak, miscarriage, My not pregnancy

My Not Pregnancy – Part 1

April 9, 2020March 28, 2023by brittanytasesaLeave a Comment

I’ve always wanted to have a family, craved my own children really, but right here in this moment I’m not ready.

healing, heartbreak, miscarriage, My not pregnancy

After the Miscarriage

February 20, 2020March 28, 2023by brittanytasesaLeave a Comment

But the other day I started crying in the shower. I'm not even sure why. I let myself cry and I let myself feel and when I was ready I let it go.